So Very Sad

Thought I would give a little update. My Uncle has passed away today. They took off life support and about an hour later he passed away. I soon as i come down and stop crying i am going to go be with my dad.

Hurting

“Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.” Eskimo Proverb quotes

What a sucky week i have had. I lost my lizard on Friday. He got really sick. Cody helped me bury him at my Aunt Melissa's house. I have had him for almost 3 years. He was three years old. Should have live a lot longer. Now for the really sad part.

My Uncle JJ passed away from cancer back in June. My Uncle JJ (i had two Uncle Jays so this one was Uncle JJ) for those of you who didnt know, was my moms sisters, Jen, ex husbands and my cousin Nathan's dad. My Uncle Roger found out he had lung cancer back in July. My Uncle Roger is my dad's brother. So no relation to each other. On or around January 8th my Uncle Roger had major lung surgery to remove the cancer, from both lungs. During the surgery he had a major stroke, one that would have killed him if he wasnt in the hospital. So he could move any part of this left side. The week his one lung clasped but they fixed it. He had some movement on his left side for a short period of time then went back to his coma like stage. They had called for a family meeting on Saturday. I got work to let me have off so i could see him. My sister could not. After the meeting with the doctor; my dad, my uncle jay, my aunt joan have told the doctors that my Uncle Roger would not want to be kept a live by machines. So today some time they are taking him off the machines and making him as comfortable as they can until he passes. They say he it could be a matter of mins, hours or days. My dad and Uncle Jay took it really hard, my Aunt Joan took it hard but stayed strong.


I am so upset and depressed. This sucks two Uncles in a matter of six months. It is not fair. Some one said everything happens for a reason. But what reason could be given for this. I dont smoke or do drugs or shop lift. I may drink once in a while, and swear. I am fighting with codys retard parents which is not my fault they brought it on themselves. I am a good person.

I wish they could find a cure for cancer. Wish they could have years ago. I cant donate money but i can donate my hair. I have donated my hair once for the Locks for Love. I am going to grow my hair again and donate. If i wasnt afraid to donate bone (something), i would but it hurts a lot from what i hear and i wouldnt be able to handle that.

I have decided when Cody and I get married, I want a table set up that has pictures of every loved one that we both have lost over the years. My great grandmother Long and Schlottman, my Nanny (dads mom), my Uncle Bouch (sorry if i spelled names wrong cant spell very good), my Uncle JJ, (if he doesnt pull through) Uncle Roger and anyone else. Then for Cody his grandmother and grandfather on his mothers side, is grandmother on his dad side, and anyone else i am missing. That way they can be their in spirit and in memory. When my Uncle passes away at least i know he will be with my nanny, and my uncle bouch.

* You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." . . . You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
Eleanor Roosevelt

Bad things happen to go people. My Uncle JJ passed away because of his cancer. My Uncle Roger has lung cancer. I haven't really mention it because it is sad. Lost one Uncle to it and turns around have another Uncle who has cancer. It really suck. My Uncle Roger went for surgery the other day. My parents went to see him in the hospital on Saturday. They have given him lots of medicine to keep him comfortable. So he really couldn't open his eyes and could not talk. His one lung clasped just a since Saturday. He moved his arm which a good sign but he isnt out of woods. Saturday the family is getting together and going to see him.

On another subject because i cant talk about anything bad right now. School is going to start back up soon. Which i can not wait because then it is closer to graduation. Cody will be going back to school maybe not until after he is 25 years old (that way he dont need those parents income and can try to get a state grant). He is going to be going back to college to become a mechanic. I am 100% supportive for this. I know his brother Jon and sister-in-law Ashley are too. My parents are for it as long as he sticks it out til the end. He loves to work on his car and work with his hands. I think this is the best thing for him. Mechanics will always be needed. There is a career in mechanics (unlike what some say). We are still working on getting out of debt. It is taking time and we wish it was easy enough that we would be out of debt over night but we know it takes time.

Since as long as Cody and I have been dating I have not really saw him read a book. He would only if he really had for school. He would read comics but not really any books. Lately Cody has been reading. It is wonderful because we can decide its bed time but yet we arent really tired and we lay in bed and read together. It is the koolest thing to do together. He has to have a book that he is really interested in for him to read. So maybe when we have extra money we are going to go to the book store and buy him some books that he would be interested in.

Christmas 2009 (I said i Would put a blog and picture up about it)

"To us, family means putting your arms around each other and being there."-- Barbara Bush

The family you come from isn't as important as the family you're going to have. -- Ring Lardner

Christmas is my favorite time of the year. The time that is spent with family is so wonderful. On Christmas Eve Cody and I along with my sister's boyfriend Steve all slept over at my parents house. My dad had told some of this friends that all his children will be at the house to spend the night even the one that arent really his kids. Which makes me and Cody feel pretty good. Cody and I slept on the air bed out in the living room. My sister wakes me up on Christmas morning by jumping on the bed yelling "Santa Came Santa Came". It scared me to death. Cody and I got some very nice gifts. We got new games to play. I got a sawing machine. My grandmother got us a new vacum cleaner since the one we had was a piece of junk and it broke. After opening gifts with my parents and sister and steve we all had breakfast. We then played a little bit of the Wii. Then Brandy and Steve had to leave to go visit some of this family until we all went to my Aunt Melissa's house. Then we all went to Melissa's house to more gift opening and Christmas dinner. We all had fun. I love spending time with people that truely care about us and want to spend time with us. Then on the Sunday after Christmas which was the 27th we headed to Jon and Ashley's house. THis time we didnt take Cody's car because it has been broken down for a month now. We had a wonderful time with Jon, Ashley and the boys. We loving getting closer to them. We headed home on Monday but before so we played the Wii with Jon and Ashley since they got one this year. It was a lot of fun. Ashley and I really got into the tennis and ended up hitting each other. But was a lot of fun. Here are just a few pictures of Christmas, I have more on my facebook.

Cody and Me
I love him with all my heart.

My Aunt Melissa, Nathan, and my mommy
Nathan could not get enough gifts.

My sister and Steve

My Aunt Jen and Gene (her boyfriend)

Nathan getting Uncle Ron (my daddy) to open on of this gifts.

As a joke we got my dad cole for Christmas lol

The new handbag we got Brandy

Daddy and Mommy

Sasha (parents dog) got tennis balls for Christmas which are her favorite

My hubby

Dark picture of Jon and Cody playing the Wii

Jon thank god he shaved before we left.

Shawn wanted me to take a picture of him eating his breakfast

Jon and the boys eating breakfast



My Uncle Tim with a nerf gun. We were playing with a bunch of them
It was a lot of fun.

End of 2009

I will be putting a post with pictures from Christmas, but my batteries died in my camera. The end of 2009 is closing coming. There has been so much change this past year. Some of which are good and bad. Here is some of what has changed:

• My Uncle Jay (also known as Uncle JJ) had passed away from cancer in June. This is something that still upsets me very much so. He was only 34 years old. He had my cousin Nathan as a son who is now 4 years old. It is nice to look at Nathan and how Nathan acts sometime that reminds me of Uncle JJ. He will never be forgotten.
  

• My best friends mom's cancer came back. Thankfully she has made it threw this year. Hope she has many more years.

• We are not talking with Cody's parent right now and have not since July. It is something that goes into great detail and time to explain everything.
  

• We have gotten so very close to Jon, Ashley and the boys. WE are so glad to be part of their lifes. The people who are not, well they are missing out on a lot.
  

• I found Cody's Uncle Cal (which i didnt mean to but am so very glad i did). Cody hasnt seen or talk to him in many many years. But are glad we are talking to him now.
  

• We are working very hard to get out of debt. It would have helped if we didnt have to move out on our own in a short time with no money saved up. But we are working to get out of the mess. It is going pretty good but taking time.
  

• Cody has changed jobs. He doesnt care for where he works now but it is money. WHen i am done with school he is going back to become a mechanic. Which makes me so very happy.

• Cannon took my thong out of my over night bag when we were visiting JOn and Ashley (cannon is the dog).

• We found out our female lizard is not a female.

• My dads best friend (who i call my uncle) and my cousin (by marriage) got married. So happy for them both.
  

We have had some ups and downs in 2009. But it is something we are both growing from. We are so very grateful to have the relationship with the family and friends that we do. Cody and I have our fights but things are always getting better. I am so grateful to have Cody in my life. I love him to death and dont know what i would do without him. He is not only my boyfriend but my best friend. He makes me happy and is an amazing cook. I am so ready for 2010. To get closer to the people that we are already close to and to get out of debt. In 2010 i will be graduating from college and getting the office job that i want (i hope). So things will be looking up for us.

Happy New Years To Everyone.
And for the ones who shared in the year with us thank you for making it pretty great.


Uncle JJ i hope you are looking over us and I know you will be proud of Nathan and miss him. YOu will never be forgotten. We love you and miss you a lot.

Christmas Only Days Away

Christmas only days away and its one of my favorite holidays. This year Cody and I will not be buying for each other. We are trying to budget our money and get our selves out of debt. But it is still a special time because it is time to spend with loved ones. We are grateful for the family that we have around. On Christmas day we are going to my parents house to open gifts to each other then maybe my mom will make breakfast. Then we will be going to my Aunt Melissa's house to see the rest of the family and to have Christmas dinner. There is like 15 of us that have holiday dinner together. Then this weekend we are hoping will allow us to go visit Jon and Ashley and the boys. Should be a good Christmas. We have gotten lots of Christmas picture/cards. We have gotten one from my sister and her boyfriend, Steve; one from Jon and Ashley and the boys; two from my friend and her boyfriend and son; then one from Cody's cousin who lives in Maryland; and then we got one from my Aunt Jen and cousin Nathan. So the frig looks pretty good right about now. School is over for me until Jan. 25th. Took my finals and that went pretty good. My grades wont be able to be seen until tomorrow. I know in my one class called Office Procedures I got a C+. Which is pretty good. That class had a harder grading scale. For example i got an 91% which in the that class is a B+. If it was any other grading school it would have been an A. So I will have pictures from Christmas this week and maybe pictures from New Years Eve. Not sure what we are doing yet since Cody works until 11. Cody doesn't have a car right now. His starter went and then something else broke then two days ago the battery died. My Uncle has a battery for it so we don't have to go spend money on a new one. My sister since she works at the same place that Cody does takes him to work and then I pick him up from work. Hopefully nothing happens to my car or then i don't know what we will do. Yesterday because of all the snow we got Cody had to help me get my car out since i went to leave for work and got stuck. My car would not go back or forth. But lucky we got it out and i got to work. Then while i was at work Cody shoveled a spot for my car to fit without getting stuck again. That is all the new stuff for now.

Busy Past Couple of Months

I havent written a blog in such a long time. Things have been busy for Cody and me. Lets see where do I start. October was Cody and my anniversary. Been together 4 years and loving it. We have our good days and bad days. We have our fights. We are both stubborn. November was my Uncle Tim's birthday and Cody's birthday. The day before Cody's birthday I had my parents come over for dinner to celebrate since Cody had to work on his birthday. I made Cody meatloaf and corn and mashed potatoes. I had never made meatloaf before. So that was a first for me. My sister baked Cody a birthday cake. Then the weekend after his birthday we had my best friend Kaylisha and her hubby, John, my sister and her boyfriend Steve come over to the house. We had fun. John and Kaylisha didn't leave until 5 a.m. Cody and John were playing Call of Duty. Kaylisha and I feel asleep on the sofas. I had to work at 10 the next day. John said he had thought it was 3 a.m. not 5. Silly John. Then there was Thanksgiving. This Thanksgiving we were thankful for having the caring family that we do have around us. We were thankful to have each other. Cody and I have been through a lot together. I am very thankful that he didn't move when those parents of his did. We are thankful for the relationship that we have with Jon, Ashley and the nephews. We have such a great relationship with them all. For Thanksgiving we went to my parents house for dinner. My mom always makes dinner for the family. There are always like 15 people that she cooks for. My mom did a wonderful job. Cody and I went over a little while before everyone else. We took the Wii Cody got me for Christmas last year and had my dad play. He seemed to have a great time. Cody, my dad and i played boxing, and bowling. It was fun. Then That weekend we went to see Jon and Ashley and the boys. Had such a great time seeing them. Like always it was so so very sad to say good bye when i was time for Cody and Me to go home. But we make the best of the time we spend with them. They took us out for dinner to celebrate Cody"s birthday since we didn't get to see them til then. Thank you guys for that. Then after getting back we put our Christmas Tree up. Now are tree isn't the greatest but it is a tree. This year our Christmas tree is a little different. There was a Christmas tree ornament that Cody didn't not want on the tree. So that was left out. But my sister gave us two ornaments for the cats that have their names on them. Shawn made his Uncle Cody and Aunt Lynda an ornament that was put on the tree. This coming New Year we are saying out with the old and in with the new. We are getting new cell phones and new numbers. We are also going to be looking for a new apartment. I will be graduating in May so there will be a new job soon after. We are going to have a new start. Here are some pictures have the past month or two.

There is our Christmas tree. Its not much but it means
something to us.

The birthday cake Brandy made for Cody.
It was so good.

There is our babies. Skyra (black) and Gizmo.

My daddy playing boxing on the Wii with Cody.
My dad won when he played me and Cody.
And it was his first time playing, not far i think he cheated somehow.

There another picture of them playing.

They both had so much fun

There me and Cody with Shawn and Landon.
I am holding Landon and Cody is holding Shawn.

There is Ashley and Me at Target.
We love shopping. We are target girls
She is one of my best friends
She will be in the wedding and doing the pictures for us.
Love ya